We have waited almost 5 years. We have been waiting until Mack is ready to travel. Ready to leave the comforts of her routine and try somewhere new. I don't know if she is ready. Or maybe I should say that I don't know if I am ready. I have a short amount of time to get ready and even then I won't be. The anxiety I am assuming she has is actually mine.
In one week I will attempt to pack all of the things that she will need to get through her day. Of course that will include shorts, t-shirts, panties, and such. But...I have to take 8 pair of shorts in case they are itchy. I have to make sure to take her penguin shirt and her pink sparkle shirt because she prefers those. On an off day she may like her yellow truck shirt but it might feel weird so I guess I should pack more. And then when it comes to PJs I'm in trouble. She likes her footie jammies but they are too hot and they make her itchy but she has to start in them and then change so I will pack her "old Mac Donald" PJs. The next day she will like the Hello Kitty onesie (yes she is still in a onesie) with her striped pants but those won't feel good tomorrow. So. I will pack more.
I have to make sure to pack her yellow spoon. The damn yellow spoon that cannot ever be put in the dishwasher. She can't use metal silverware because she bangs it on the table and we can't have that elsewhere. Our furniture is officially ruined but we still use the plastic spoon. Oh, and her race car cup with the "green part" that attaches to cover the spout. But that is just for her morning smoothie. Water will have to be in her Dora cup so I have to remember that.
I have to remember her white noise machine and her nightlight but it has to be the circle light because she doesn't like the rectangle light. And while I am thinking about bed time, she hasn't ever slept with anyone in her room. I have never slept with her. Fiona has never slept with her. I am very curious how sharing a bed or a room is going to go. I am hoping that if she is surrounded by all things familiar, she will be better in an unfamiliar place.
There are many unknowns as we prepare for our journey. I fear the plane ride with her. I fear her behavior at all of our stops. I fear how she will handle transitions and long tiring days. While we are gone she will be seen by a developmental team at an excellent hospital. I have no idea what will come of that visit. I have high hopes. But really...I'm just hoping that I can pack all of the the things I need to keep her from freaking out too much. I hope it all fits in her suitcase. I hope it weighs under 50 pounds at least. I hope there is at least a little room for my clothes. Ha.
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