Love Signs

I am sitting in a plastic chair watching my beauty at gymnastics. I have Mack on the floor in front of me trying her best to piss off the little boy who has made it very clear that he will not be sharing any of the toys. I spend most of that hour trying to keep her from freaking out and throwing anything. I alternate between showing Fi a thumbs-up for a cartwheel and showing Mack a thumbs down for sucking on the plastic strawberry in the tea set. Most Thursdays, I am anxious for the hour to be done so we can be on our way. Luckily, this Thursday I looked up at the right moment.

Fiona was in the gym getting ready to work on the bars. Her coach had sprayed some liquid chalk on her hands and she spent a few minutes drying them by the fan. I saw her giggling with the other girls as the powder dried and got whiter when she held up her tiny chalky hand and showed me the sign for "I love you". The look in her eyes, complete bliss, went right through me. Her eyes were clear and beautiful. This is the same little girl who rolled those beautiful green eyes at me only 45 minutes before in the car. She loves me. Me, the mom who prompted the eye roll because apparently I'm a nag. She loves me. In the middle of gymnastics she stopped to make sure I know that. I'm so glad I was looking.

It's funny because I think there are so many of those moments each day and sometimes we just can't see them. Sometimes we are too tired to look. Sometimes we're too hurried to allow ourselves to slow down and melt for a minute. I have many moments these days where I am just too exhausted from the chase to enjoy the ones I'm chasing. The other night I had Mack on her stomach laying across her bathroom counter and flopping like a fish. In the craziness of that moment I happened to notice her peach fuzzy spine traveling up her back to the spot on her neck that is so yummy to kiss. Instead of ripping her from the counter like I wanted to, I kissed her yummy neck and set her back on the stool. I'm so glad I was looking.

I am trying to raise children who notice the beauty in the world. We say goodnight to the moon every night. We point to Jupiter and watch the stars as they are swallowed by fast moving clouds. We play board games. We dance in public. We giggle when someone toots at the table.
I put love notes in their lunches every day- chocolate pudding on Fridays. I make heart shaped pancakes and kitty shaped quesadillas. I wear the jewelry they buy for me. I think we as parents do these things because our children are watching us. They are looking for love signs too. I'm so glad mine are looking.