We have been watching her spiral out of control for a long time. We tried Ritalin and it wasn't a good fit. So we continued with behavior modification and it was helping a little bit but really, we have just been living in hell. I hate to even "say" that outloud. She has a few minutes of calm at home but most often is out of control of herself and her emotions. And still...she is bottling it all up when she is outside of the home. We are happy she is functioning in the world, but have been losing our grip on her at home. So, we got help.
She was tested last week to see if she was on the spectrum and the doctor doesn't think she is...because her oddities do not happen across settings. I think we are on the road to begin talking about a possible Oppositional Defiant Disorder diagnosis. Mix that with her sensory needs and you have officially given birth to a completely adorable, blonde, time-bomb. Tick Tick Tick. Tick.
We started her on new med which is a depressant. We were told to watch for her to become extremely tired and to just want to sleep all day. I was worried and uncomfortable. But, we had to do something. We had to. For her. For our family. So, on Friday after school she had her first dose. After it kicked in, we saw changes in her the first night. (Full effect doesn't happen for 2 weeks.) She was making transitions easier, ate a calm dinner, played in her sister's room nicely, and got ready for bed without incident. This is not typical in our home. Normally it is like we have twin 2 year-olds running around. So, whew maybe we did the right thing.
The next morning was business as usual for us. She was back to herself and was difficult. It took me 2 hours to get them ready to go to Costco and I was wondering whether we'd be able to do it once we were there. We managed. And after nap she had her meds again...
I've written before about how HARD it is to decide to medicate your child. Brian and I honestly tried to manage her behavior with behavior modification and lots of opportunities to burn energy. We try to be consistent and stay on the plan. We work hard to be 10 steps ahead of her at all times. I know how to talk around what I want making it sound like her idea. None of it has helped.
I'm hopeful for her future. I love the tiny moments of "normal" I have seen in the last 2 days. Things that many parents would see on any given day. We are seeing for the first time. It gives me hope for what our family can do. Restaurants. Libraries. Movies. Airplanes.
For all you families who have children who struggle...We are right there next to you. Life goes on while you manage the needs of your child. It is utterly exhausting. Keep pushing forward. You'll get there. So will we.
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