What to Expect When You Stop Expecting So Much

I got pregnant with Fiona and I read all the books.  Yes.  The Books.  They taught me that at week 10 she should be doing this.  At week 24 she should be doing this.  By year 2 I can expect that she should be doing xyz.  And, pretty much they were right on.  You know, those books we buy that we use as our bibles because we don't know what in the hell we're doing?  OK, the MW sleep book was actually my bible.  I know other moms who would agree.  

Mackenzie followed NONE of the books.  I tried so hard to follow along on her week long plan like "The Book" said she was supposed to do.  But, we kept falling behind.  So, I bought a different book.  It too was wrong.  So, my good friend got pregnant and now owns all the books for her kid who follows the rules like the book says he should.

What if...we got rid of all the expectations of those damn books and just did what we felt was right?  What if we followed our instincts and just let life guide us in the right direction?  Really.  Think about it.  How many of you readers are wearing a diaper and sucking on a pacifier?  How many of you still sleep with your mom?  How many of you think broccoli is evil poison?  None right?  OK, broccoli may still freak some of you out but you just haven't discovered ranch dressing yet.  My point is...all the things that society makes us feel like bad parents about disappear like they are supposed to.  Some go away because we follow "the book".  Some go away because time changes us and we replace our needs with new things.  

I have had to learn that my Mackenzie does not follow the rules like the book says she is supposed to.  She spits on those books.  She will one day write the book for kids who don't follow the book.  And...we're making it. We're doing it in a different way and she surprises us every day.  I just have different expectations for her.  Fiona was sleeping in panties by 2 1/2 and I bet Mack will still be in a pull-up at night in kindergarten.  So what?  Fiona was able to drink from an open cup at the table very early.  Mack throws it across the room and still uses a sippy cup.  So what?  Fiona's pacifier flew up into the sky on a balloon at 2 1/2.  Mackenzie can't go anywhere without her "Bygee" (blankie).  So what? 

My plan is to focus on what they need now and worry about the rest later.  I will continue to push broccoli at dinner time in a friendly way because as much as I think dark leafy green vegetables are important...I also think a calm happy family dinner is important too. I say that like I have had a calm happy dinner recently.  Ha.